About 3 years ago, back when I was in 11th grade our English teacher called three of my classmates and I to talk to us about a spoken poetry competition coming up. At this point the idea seemed intimidating and a tinsy bit foreign. Jump start to a few days later. There we were, four girls in an empty classroom awkwardly wondering what we should write about. Now we had hung out before and I guess you could safely say we were friends but writing with someone means you need to open up, and understand each other. With subtle starts and open arms, we slowly realized the one thing every girl probably relates to – body positivity. We all had at some points felt insecure about our shapes and had felt conscious about the way we look. However sad it might sound its common for young girls to quite easily find themselves not fitting into the stereotypical ideal body types. And that’s how it began, a fun, wholesome and beautiful journey of us writing a poem, a poem that brought together all the vent up emotion and angst in us, and it was powerful. From isolated staircases and unused laboratories, we went all over the campus trying to finish it. Every time we performed it gave me chills cause for the first time I was this comfortable owning something I had written. What started off as an entry for an inter-school competition became much more than that ,it in a lot of ways made me realize that you can get a crazy truckload of confidence when you confide genuinely to a group of girls cause chances are they are just as anxious as you are. So here is what we wrote (it might sound contradicting at places but that’s because it’s was written with the intention of being spoken poetry) –
Midget, hairy, dark, flabby Zit face, skinny, flat, ugly! Why?? You aren't in my line of sight, Oh, there you are! that's your height?! Sure you're standing? Because you're still not seen. Now, isn't that just too mean... I may be small, but I have big dreams, I will brave all odds is what my heart screams. You are so skinny, you look so anorexic, So fragile, you would probably break like a stick. Society isn't the architect deciding my dimensions, Honey, get a life, instead of looking for my imperfections. You won't be seen in the shadows of the night, Cast away into the dark, such is your plight. On your face, all those spots, Ugh, so many blemishes and blots. A hundred scars on your face is better than one on your heart, Now what is wrong in blending with the beautiful night sky? Why do you wish your complexion to be another lie? She takes her curves in her stride, Nothing can mar her pride But petite like a princess is what you expect to see, Well that's just it, this is life, not another movie. Pear and apple are fruits no longer, Just terms used to bury my self-esteem deeper. I am given sizes, I am called shapes, Insecurities make me cramp myself to fit ideal tapes. Gone are the innocent square, circle and heart, now it's my body that should be a piece of art. Remember, never feel the need to apologize For a stomach that isn't flat, Or thighs that are fat For not looking like an hourglass, Or not being on an eternal fast. This is who you are Instead of trying to cover up, With makeup, Learn to stand up, And speak out To bring out That unique beauty in you. You tell me I am ugly, So are you the ideal beauty? You want me to be perfect, But who here has no defect? Who defines flawless? Of this everyone's clueless. All this becomes too much to swallow Now who am I to follow? Leaving me in confusion, What is perfection?
I guess I can’t stress on this enough – You should try to love yourself, however hard it might be. Talk to people you trust, embrace your so called ‘flaws’, believe in yourself and know that no matter what anyone says you don’t deserve to feel anything less than beautiful! :’)
I wrote this along with Swathi , Prathama and Caroline. Here's a video of Caroline and I performing it in Dialogues Cafe, Bangalore. This was the first time we performed at an open mic :')